STUBBORN

Brianna: strong willed; strong one

I really should have paid more attention to the meaning of my children's names before we chose them.

Had I known then what I know now, would I have chosen a name that literally means "strong willed"?

ACK!!

The 6-year-old battles are even worse than they were just a few short months ago.

Most of the time, Brie is a sweet angel.

The many times she has tidied up her room (or the ENTIRE basement) without anyone making her, just because she knew it needed to be done.

The girl who offers to give me a 'massage' before bedtime, albeit it was followed by a "I hope that this made you less angry, Mom". But she has since offered massages on days when I know that I was not an angry mom either!

So I KNOW that she has a tender heart and she wants to please people.

But some days that is difficult to remember when all we do is butt heads all day long.

Lately the hair-brushing has been an extreme challenge.

I have been reading a great book by Kevin Leman, "Have a New Kid by Friday" so I thought that I would put some of the suggestions in there to good use. The main idea is that you only ask kids once. Don't nag, don't pester them. Kids aren't stupid...they heard you the first time.

If they don't complete what you asked of them, then other privileges won't happen. They will learn very quickly to shape up and do what you ask of them the next time.

So yesterday Brie refused to brush her hair before school. I really should have taken a picture as she had a lovely little 'nest' in the back of her head. It was tangled and very messy. But she had 30 minutes in which to complete the brushing and she chose not to.

I was very reluctant to send her off, but I figured that I couldn't back down and so off to school she went. After all, messy hair isn't going to scar anyone for life.

Last night I asked if anyone commented on her hair. "Yeah, they liked it!" was her response.

Hmph. Not exactly the response I was expecting.

So then I asked if it bothered her to go with messy hair. "Nope!"

Alrighty then.....

John and I talked about it last night and we tried to come up with an alternative consequence to her messy hair. He suggested that we hold off on breakfast until her hair is done. Sounds reasonable, doesn't it?

Breakfast is Brianna's favorite meal of the day by far. She often eats 2 pieces of toast, along with some fruit or yogurt to go with it. She tends to be a somewhat picky eater and this is the one meal that she is always guaranteed to eat.

So this morning I told her that she could eat once her hair was brushed.

It is now almost 11:30 and she is REFUSING to brush her hair.

She is very hungry and getting very grouchy, but she still does not want to back down!

Seriously, what do I do with this kid???

As a baby I was also known for being stubborn, being compared with my grandma, which I don't think was supposed to be a good thing. I definitely know when to hold my ground and not back down. But I also know that sometimes we just have to pick our battles.

I just don't want to lose this one! I can't let her win. But I don't know how to survive these battles either. And if I think it's bad at age 6, I can only imagine the horrors that are waiting for me 10 years from now.

(shudder)

Any suggestions?